Why You’ll Never Be Beautiful
The impossible, moral, and problematic nature of the beauty ideal.
As someone who’d inherited an enviably slim and toned body, I didn’t think too much about the problematic nature of the beauty ideal. I could ignore it because I had what many considered the ‘perfect’ body. I didn’t realise how deeply ingrained and ruthless it is until I gained weight, developed cellulite, and found my first grey hair and varicose vein.
From then on, I became consumed by the idea of falling short of the beauty standard because I know how much society values, upholds, and enforces it.
Until that moment, I didn’t realise how vital beauty or desirability is to my identity. Although I was consciously oblivious to the beauty ideal, I subconsciously used it to judge myself and others.
This experience got me thinking: What is the beauty ideal? Why does it matter? Can we ever be beautiful?
The Beauty Ideal
In her book, Perfect Me: Beauty as an Ethical Ideal (2018), philosopher Heather Widdows argues that the beauty ideal is “not a single model, but a (relatively narrow) range of acceptable models,” namely:
1. Thin and Slim
Thinness is the beauty ideal’s main feature. Even though local beauty standards still exist, Widdows suggests that they’re becoming “weaker” and “more isolated,” making thinness global.
To be considered thin, you mustn’t have “love handles,” a ‘pizza crust,’ or a ‘muffin top.’
The only exceptions to the thinness rule are big firm breasts, a “firm” and “shapely” butt, big muscles, and ‘bee-stung’ lips.
In addition, many see thinness as a sign of health, self-love, or self-care, an association that started in the mid-20th century. However, this association is misguided because not every thin person has a healthier lifestyle nor loves themselves more than those that aren’t. Many factors contribute to how someone looks, and it’s possible to be healthy but not lean or slim.
2. Firm and Buff
In a society obsessed with looks, nudity and firmness matter. According to Widdows, the ideal body must be “thin, firm,” “smooth”, and “young.” Likewise, the perfect face should be “sculpted”, “firm”, “smooth”, and youthful.
To achieve firmness, Widdows says you mustn’t have lumps, bumps, dips, or ‘cottage cheese,’ and that firmness also requires more effort than thinness. As a result, many use exercise, dieting, surgery, or other ‘maintenance’ procedures to achieve it.
3. Smooth and Luminous
Apart from being thin and firm, Widdows says the ideal body has “smooth” and glowing skin. The skin also doesn’t have marks, stretch marks, “cellulite,” pigmentation, “large pores”, or varicose veins.
In addition to being smooth and luminous, the skin must also be white or “light”, “hairless”, and preferably have an olive, golden, or “bronze” tan that isn’t ‘too deep’ (dark). A ‘sun-kissed’ tan says you can afford to holiday in the sun, while a darker one says you can’t afford to stay out of it.
Many were quick to remind Youtuber Kayla Nicole of these beauty ideals when she recently posted a picture of her postpartum body on Instagram. Although Kayla Nicole is slim, firm, shapely, and young, the skin on her stomach had stretch marks and pigmentation from having a baby.
Some praised her for posting the picture, while a man responded to the post saying, “I was eating man.” A young woman commented, “sorry, but I don’t wanna have kids nomo.”
Kayla Nicole’s ‘beauty failure’ disturbed people so much that they reported her post to Instagram. Instagram then swiftly removed it, citing that it goes against its community guidelines. Guidelines that Instagram claims to have created “to support and protect” its community.
4. Young and Youthful
The final acceptable model is youth, and it’s the least flexible. To be youthful, you have to look young even when you’re old.
On top of that, you shouldn’t have “blotchy” skin, a pot-belly, or a muffin-top. Widdows says being “wobbly, wrinkly, bumpy, saggy, hairy, ill, decaying, or dying” is also unacceptable.
Art and philosophy have greatly influenced the modern beauty ideal, especially for women, as they imagined some of today’s most valued beauty ideals.
Art and The Beauty Ideal
There seems to be a very close connection between art, proportion (mathematics), and the beauty ideal.
Evidence of this is art historian Lynda Nead’s quote which says, “the chief forms of beauty [in art] are order and symmetry and definiteness,” ideals that stem from Ancient Greece.
In addition, it’s said that Ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras invented the golden ratio. The golden ratio is a mathematical formula used to determine beauty in nature, structures, or faces. For example, the ideal face is said to have a ratio of 1.618. Renowned European Renaissance artists used this ratio for their most famous artworks.
Plato endorsed the golden ratio and declared that her face must be symmetrical for a woman to be beautiful. He’s said to have hated disproportion so much that he called it evil.
According to Nead, Aristotle also promoted the ideal of “unity and integrity of form,” which powerfully and profoundly influenced Western culture.
In art philosophy, matter or unformed matter is the body before it gets shaped by exercise, dieting, surgery, art, and culture. As a result, the unformed matter is seen as inferior to form. Form is being toned, lean, and having a mind that can ponder and understand abstract ideas.
Aristotle saw women (particularly mothers) as formless and passive matter and men as form that can shape bodies and minds.
In addition, according to German philosopher Immanuel Kant, for a woman to be considered high art, her body mustn’t be in any way arousing to men.
Why The Beauty Ideal Matters
Although many see beauty as a superficial and unimportant topic, Widdows argues that it actually matters because it significantly influences the global economy and “our shared culture and individual practices.”
We use beauty ideals to create, categorise, and understand identities and meanings and assign resources and opportunities.
Widdows also notes that reaching “minimum (good enough) standards of beauty becomes effectively a (moral) duty, something that is required and necessary.”
The beauty ideal then becomes a “value framework” or tool that we use to “praise, blame, and reward, making beauty-success a moral virtue and beauty-failure a moral vice.”
In this way, beauty-failure is seen as a “failure of the whole self” and not just a failure to meet the beauty ideal. As a result, there’s great shame associated with it, which is why achieving or not achieving the beauty ideal affects how we physically and morally see ourselves and others.
It also explains why so many people feel a moral duty to judge and comment on the appearance of others. Those commenting might see their comments as keeping you from ‘letting yourself go.’
Will You Ever Be Beautiful?
The short answer is no. You’ll never be beautiful according to the beauty ideal.
Not even supermodels are beautiful according to the beauty standard, which is why they’re constantly getting photoshopped to ‘perfection.’ They don’t even look like they do in their pictures, so you won’t either — unless the same editor retouches your photos.
According to the Oxford dictionary, an ideal is something “existing only in the imagination; desirable or perfect but not likely to become a reality.” This definition perfectly describes the beauty ideal, which is largely based on the imaginations of male artists and philosophers.
Also, if the beauty ideal sees perfection as beautiful, then you’ll never be beautiful because you’ll never be perfect. I also don’t think that those capitalizing on the beauty ideal want you to be perfect either because then they’d be out of business.
I think the point of the beauty ideal is to problematize the fact that you aren’t perfect, so you can keep striving for perfection because it’s the ‘right thing to do.’
The public and the media also reinforce and recreate the idea that there’s something wrong with you that needs fixing. This then allows them to sell you products and procedures that can help get you closer to perfection. Yet, the pursuit of perfection can ruin the health you’re trying to gain or maintain.
For example, if you were a woman trying to achieve the beauty ideal between the 1900s and the 2000s, you’d have to go through many risky changes in a short space of time to be perfect.
To fit the beauty ideal of the early 1900s, you’d have to be full-figured with a small waist.
Then in the 1920s, you’d have to drop a lot of weight to fit the slim and boyish ideal, only to gain it back again in the 1930s when the boyish ideal gets replaced by the ‘average’ standard.
You’d then have to lose weight again in the 1960s and 1970s to fit the skinny pre-pubescent ideal.
Come the1980s; you’d have to be tall, tanned, slim, and athletic with big boobs. Then, in the 1990s, you’d have to lose more weight than you lost in the 1920s and 1970s to get the ‘heroin chic’ look.
All of these rapid and drastic changes would likely destroy your body and ruin your health. We’ve seen people who are literally dying to somewhat meet the beauty standard.
At the same time, rejecting the beauty ideal isn’t easy because people will call you out for conforming to it and for not conforming to it. It would be easy to ignore these people, except some of them are our friends and family members who think they’re acting in our best interests.
It’s difficult because we know we’re being manipulated by these ideals, yet it’s hard to shake them off. Then before we know it, we find ourselves internalising and aspiring to them. But is it worth it?
